Jillian F.
"The first step to getting anywhere is deciding you're not willing to stay where you are."It's no secret I've always been a big girl. Chin up in pictures, only from boobs up, no full body pics, or hiding in the back. Always been the "fat friend" and I was ok with it, on the outside at least. Turn up the funny, caring, bubbly personality and it evened out. Once behind closed doors, or evenings alone, I was sad and food became my friend. It was my comfort. It was a never ending cycle that I decided "This is me. Take it or leave it." Double edged sword to see people posting on FaceBook about their clean eating, newest diet, or tagging themselves at the gym. I'd think "that's annoying" and "no one cares" but in the same moment thinking "how motivating" and "good for them, I should go for a walk or something"! It's a touchy subject for most, especially women that struggle this same battle. I GET YOU! It's something we constantly think about but rarely discuss, the weight rollercoaster I like to call it.I am learning to eat to live, not live to eat. Learning to use food to fuel my body, not comfort it. I am ok with putting myself first for a few things in life for once. Bonus I'll be able to actually share clothes with people and go on shopping trips in the same section with friends! Above all I'm ready to be healthy! For me and for my family. I plan on sticking around for a long time! This is not because of "getting skinny", that's a side effect, but for being comfortable with myself. Comfortable with my health. Comfortable in social settings. Comfortable and happy to be me!I AM READY TO LOVE ME! It was honestly weird to even realize that. Made me reflect on how just a few years ago I didn't want to live. Amazing and thankful how God pours out His mercy and heals us from ourselves.On January 30th 2017 I started a new chapter and had the sleeve done. This is a tool for I have vowed to help me stay on track with this new lifestyle. Saying its "the easy way out" is the biggest crock of crap I have heard. It’s like saying getting a membership to the gym is too! Just because you have it doesn't mean it'll do the work for you! It's takes hard work and planning. As time goes on, new challenges will arise. Even simple gatherings with friends and family or a weekend away takes strategic planning. I'm getting there slowly but surely. I will make mistakes along the way. I have realistic goals and expectations.Motivation comes in different ways for everyone. Seeing how far I've come already keeps me pushing forward. Maybe I'll motivate you to take your health back, or even to say encouraging words to someone instead of hurtful ones. Trust me, even small remarks, that you may not even realize, are so hurtful and stay with someone forever. We all have our own battles and different ways of processing them. I'm excited to be given this "second chance". Cheers to a new and improved healthy life and new chapter to begin.Family has been just that, family! With questions to support and everything in between, someone is always there. From prayers to pissed off rants, someone is always there. We are human. We are real. That is what I love best about this family and I’m so happy I found you all. Thank you for having me!!! #readytoloveme#workinprogress